Never be the same

Have you ever had a moment....a moment when you realize that your life will never be the same...either better or worse but never the same. I have had a lot of moments like this is my life....some bad and some good but one day in particular sticks out in my mind. As many moms would say the day when your first child was born is like no other. Knowing your going to be a mommy for nine months and then finally becoming one stir many different feelings. Carrying around a baby in your belly is safe, even easy. Some might disagree as pregnancy is very uncomfortable in a lot of ways but what I mean is that this little stranger is safely tucked away from harm...close to your heart all the time. When it came time for me to give birth WELL that was a much different story. I was completely, utterly, sadly UNprepared. I knew it was "painful" and "uncomfortable" but I never imagined that I would be in the worst pain of my life. Syd was nine days overdue so when labor came knocking at 5:30 AM I was ready and willing to answer the call. "Just get her out of there already....", I remember saying this! I wish it were as simple as that. Syd was just over 7 pounds so she wasn't a big baby and I thank God for that. I decided early in my pregnancy that I wanted to go completely natural, at the time this seemed like a great idea but during my 8 plus hours of labor I changed my mind about 1,000 times. My doctor or rather my midwife persuaded me to continue the labor completely natural and I am really glad she did. At the time I secretly despised her but that story is for another day. After what seemed like a million hours I gave birth to this tiny, perfect and miraculous creature. I say creature lovingly as I was truly mesmerized by her. I have seen many babies but the feelings you feel when it's yours....can't even put these feelings into words. She was amazing and truthfully she scared me a little. I was so afraid I would hurt her....drop her. I wasn't for sure how to hold her or lay her down. I learned quickly as my motherly instincts kicked in but the fear didn't go away. As I laid there surrounded by family and friends I realized...."My life is never going to be the same.....never ever!" I was so tired from the whole labor process that I slept away most of the day. Don't worry there were a million people in and out to love on Sydnee so she wasn't left to her own devices while I slept. I remember as everyone filed out for the evening that I had a extreme bout of panic. "What am I supposed to do with her?" Nothing like jumping right in. Sydnee quickly produced her first poopy diaper....thick, black, tarry meconium. I seriously thought there was something wrong with her....I called the nurse in and she laughed as I explained that my baby....MY baby just had a very disturbing bowel movement. After some loving reassuring from the nurse I accepted that this black tar was normal....disturbing but normal. SIDENOTE: I secretly hope that a new mother will come to me with the same urgency that I displayed.....I would love to lovingly reassure her as my nurse did for me. Anyway, I could go on and on but I won't. Being a mother has had a tough learning curve for me. I struggled with Sydnee and the realization that my life now revolved around this tiny little person. Babies have so much control.... deservingly so. I love being a mommy....LOVE IT! I would be lying though if I said it was easy. All I can do is do the best I can (and many days I feel like I'm not even doing that) and then let God pick up the rest. I feel very strongly that God has a special plan for each of my children....and as they grow my constant prayer is that I can be a constant in their life. I want to be there to reassure Sydnee that that black tarry poop in her babies diaper is normal. I want to be there to watch Wrigley's children to come into the world. I want to sit in the front row and bawl my eye's out as my son gives his life to a women he has chosen to make his wife. I am getting way ahead of myself as my kiddos are 4, 5 and 11 but time flies. So next time you have a day when you know your life will never be the same...relish it! If it's bad learn from it but if it's good smile. I loved the following poem because it is so true...the loving hands of a mother are like no other hands on Earth!



The Hand Of A Mother

The hand of a mother can cradle her babe,
And will care, feed and nurture him all of his days.

The hand of a mother can sooth a sore wound,
And when joined with her kiss, it will heal up soon.

The hand of a mother bakes mouth-watering treats,
And a bit of her love goes in each wonderful sweet.

The hand of a mother can wipe her babe's tears
And will continue to do so for many a year

The hand of a mother is both strong and soft,
To comfort her children when their way has been lost.

The hand of a mother can be folded in prayer,
To give thanks, to praise, or simply to share.

The hand of a mother acts with kindness and love,
Because the hand of a mother is guided by God.