God works in mysterious ways....my OH my, sometimes I don't understand His ways! I try very hard BUT honestly He remains a mystery to me in many situations. I have an innate need to control all that is around me and I think this habit has kept me from trusting God....even when I know I can't possibly do things on my own. I fear being powerless. I love routine....schedules....and deadlines! I am better at going with the flow...now more than ever BUT it's still a struggle with me....on some days and in certain situations.
I say all this to tell you a story where God was completely in charge. In May, due to budget cuts (imagine the government needing to implement budget cuts) every student nurse had their contract terminated. It was nothing I did wrong...I wasn't fired BUT I was heartbroken on a lot of levels. I still miss my "guys" on my unit and I've attended a couple of funeral services for those who were endeared to me. As a long term care facility I got to know the patients well.....I learned all about their families.....celebrated their birthdays.....celebrated holidays and I loved my job. Hearing of the budget cuts left me feeling like my purpose was gone. Not only had Brady and I grown accustomed to the life of two incomes BUT that job was my cue and urging from God that I was meant to be a nurse. I interviewed for a student nurse job at Marion General but for some reason wasn't chosen. I was terrified that I wouldn't be able to get back into the hospital setting and I dearly love direct patient care.
Brady and I have the best small group/Sunday school that anyone could ask for. We have made connections with many great people and feel very connected to many of them. We pray for each other.....encourage each other and fellowship in ways I never knew possible. They are all blessings to us in so many ways. One couple is in our small group and Sunday school class and she has small children so we've always had a lot in common. I was talking to her about my desperate want to be back in the hospital....working with patients and learning from the doctors, nursing and patients’ things that I could/would never learn in a clinical setting. Literally three days later I got an email from a supervisor on the Telemetry/Critical Care units asking me if I was still interested in a student nurse position!!!! WHAT!!! I jumped around screaming like I'd just won the lottery! I of course replied yes and when I went to meet with her she explained that 3 people separately came up to her and said that I would be a perfect fit on the unit. 3 people who believed in me enough to put there necks on the line by referring me to their supervisor. I was in shock and then my heart filled with pride knowing that I had made an impression on at least three people who believed in me.
I'm blessed....so very blessed to be back into the hospital. I'm blessed that I will be getting a lot of learning experience on the Telemetry/Critical Care units. I'm blessed that Marion General is a hospital that cares deeply for their employees. Everyone is kind...considerate.....helpful and overall they believe in this hospital and what it stands for. I'm blessed to have this opportunity and to be in units that will test me in so many areas. Nursing is a lot of book work...learning...memorizing BUT more importantly its thinking on your feet....being confident in your skills....not freezing up in an emergency. These are all skills you could/would never learn in a book! God is faithful and when I let go and gave into the fact that I wasn't going to get a student nursing job....He wasted no time opening a door.
Help me as I care
for my patients today,
Be there with me,
O Lord, I pray
Make my words kind
--it means so much--
And in my hands place
Your healing touch
Let your love shine
through all that I do,
So those in need
may hear and feel You.
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