Our God is an awesome God

Now we all know what it is to be thankful or so we think. I have never been more mindful of how blessed I am then right now. There is a little boy laying in a hospital bed tonight that is fighting for his life....a fight he probably won't win. This.Is.So.Hard! Driving home I was thinking about just how much I take for granted. My kids are healthy for the most part and they are all very smart and well adjusted. Kids will be kids.....with that being said my kids do test my patience on a regular basis and yes I do want to pull my hair out on some days but as I was watching this mother snuggle her child who was dying it made all the little everyday things that peeve me off just disappear. I bet she wishes she could have him home running around messing up the house or back talking her. Instead of pulling her hair out with frustration she is pulling his out in big clumps. It just isn't supposed to be this way...right God? As I was eating my dinner tonight, alone in the break room I called out to him because I wanted an explanation. I believed that he should explain to me why this is happening. Well let's just say God never disappoints.....as I was eating I began to sob and it hit me like a ton of bricks that I am so selfish. God loans us these children of ours and when he calls them back we must let them go. He whispered to me "Kylie I love this little boy more than is earthly possible. My love for him is something you cannot comprehend. His work here on Earth was short but his impact will be tremendous. Trust me!" So I cried a little bit more and then I decided I HAVE to trust him. I wiped away my tears and marched right back into that little mans room and I grabbed his little hand and held onto it. I stroked his hair and gently patted his shoulder. I wanted him to know that it was okay. Some of us aren't meant to grow old and that is hard to swallow, but when you see it right before your eyes it is so hard to grasp. My heart is broken but I must trust in Jesus....I must trust that he knows whats best. I know that I'm going to try from now on not take things for granted. I want to let my kids know each and every day that they are so precious to me. I want my husband to know just how much I appreciate him and love him. I don't ever want to look back again and wish for a re-do. We just don't know what life will bring. I am praising God tonight that he is SO GOOD even in a situation that is SO bad. He never changes and his love remains constant. My prayer is that I can become a nurse who is his hands and feet.....a nurse who brings God into every room with me no matter the circumstance. I desperately need to trust in him ALL the time and not only when it's convenient for me. God understands that I am a fallen human in a fallen world so he knows that I can't possibly see what He sees. Yet he is patient with me still. Although I pray for a miracle tonight I know in my heart that there isn't one coming so as I lay my head down I pray that this little boys transition into Heaven will be glorious and I know that he will be free of pain and suffering but I am also praying for his mother who is being left behind. God be there to hold her up when she can't stand on her own. I know you are always so close to the brokenhearted so I pray she knows You. God is still awesome isn't he.....what an awesome God we serve!