Monday, July 21, 2014

Saying goodbye to a good old girl.......

Today I lost my best friend. She's been with me through thick and thin and she's never judged. She's loved me when I was gorgeous and ready to go out and she's loved me when I was sick as a dog (no pun intended) hugging the porcelain God for hours on end. She's licked away my tears and I swear she smiled at me when I walked through the door after being gone all day. She was unconditional love in every sense of the word. She never held grudges. She never stayed angry. She just loved with all her heart and soul and when she'd look up at me with those sweet eyes I knew that I was the only thing that mattered to her. As hard as it was to watch her leave this world I wouldn't change it for a thing. My comforting words and just her knowing that I was right there was the last gift I could give her in this life. So rest easy dear friend.....you've been the best dog and our family will NEVER forget you my friend.




I read this story on a website and it seemed to fit today! Hope you enjoy and rest easy my dear friend!

Some of you, particularly those who think they have recently lost a dog to “death”, don’t really understand this. I’ve had no desire to explain, but won’t be around forever and must.

Dogs never die. They don’t know how to. They get tired, and very old, and their bones hurt. Of course they don’t die. If they did they would not want to always go for a walk, even long after their old bones say:” No, no, not a good idea. Let’s not go for a walk.” Nope, dogs always want to go for a walk. They might get one step before their aging tendons collapse them into a heap on the floor, but that’s what dogs are. They walk.

It’s not that they dislike your company. On the contrary, a walk with you is all there is. Their boss, and the cacaphonic symphony of odor that the world is. Cat poop, another dog’s mark, a rotting chicken bone ( exultation), and you. That’s what makes their world perfect, and in a perfect world death has no place.

However, dogs get very very sleepy. That’s the thing, you see. They don’t teach you that at the fancy university where they explain about quarks, gluons, and Keynesian economics. They know so much they forget that dogs never die. It’s a shame, really. Dogs have so much to offer and people just talk a lot.

When you think your dog has died, it has just fallen asleep in your heart. And by the way, it is wagging it’s tail madly, you see, and that’s why your chest hurts so much and you cry all the time. Who would not cry with a happy dog wagging its tail in their chest. Ouch! Wap wap wap wap wap, that hurts. But they only wag when they wake up. That’s when they say: “Thanks Boss! Thanks for a warm place to sleep and always next to your heart, the best place.”

When they first fall asleep, they wake up all the time, and that’s why, of course, you cry all the time. Wap, wap, wap. After a while they sleep more. (remember, a dog while is not a human while. You take your dog for walk, it’s a day full of adventure in an hour. Then you come home and it’s a week, well one of your days, but a week, really, before the dog gets another walk. No WONDER they love walks.)

Anyway, like I was saying, they fall asleep in your heart, and when they wake up, they wag their tail. After a few dog years, they sleep for longer naps, and you would too. They were a GOOD DOG all their life, and you both know it. It gets tiring being a good dog all the time, particularly when you get old and your bones hurt and you fall on your face and don’t want to go outside to pee when it is raining but do anyway, because you are a good dog. So understand, after they have been sleeping in your heart, they will sleep longer and longer.

But don’t get fooled. They are not “dead.” There’s no such thing, really. They are sleeping in your heart, and they will wake up, usually when you’re not expecting it. It’s just who they are.

I feel sorry for people who don’t have dogs sleeping in their heart. You’ve missed so much. Excuse me, I have to go cry now.

Thursday, July 17, 2014

Food for my soul.....

I love quotes. I liken them to food for my soul. No matter what mood I'm in, what's going on in life, words are always a comfort to me. I thought I'd share some of my favorites from this season of my life. Hope you enjoy!

You may not control all the events that happen to you, but you can decide not to be reduced by them

You never know how strong you are until being strong is the only choice you have

Sometimes the wrong choices bring us to the right places

Sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together

New beginnings are often disguised as painful endings

All endings are also beginnings, we just don't know it at the time

The secret of change is to focus all of your energy, not on fighting the old, but on building the new

Those who move forward with a happy spirit will find that things always work out

Storms make trees take deeper roots

We must be willing to let go of the life we have planned as to have the life that is waiting for us

Just because the past didn't turn out like you wanted it to doesn't mean your future can't be better than you imagined

Big things often have small beginnings

I don't forgive people because I'm weak. I forgive them because I am strong enough to understand that people make mistakes

Sometimes painful things can teach us lessons that we didn't think we needed to know

Being happy is a very personal thing and it really has nothing to do with anyone else

I am very grateful for the difficult people in my life. They have shown me exactly who I DON'T want to be

The best is yet to come

I used to believe that prayer changes things, but now I know that prayer changes us and we change things

So much has been given to me; I have no time to ponder over that which has been denied

What a wonderful thought that some of the best days of our lives haven't happened yet

One day, someone will walk into your life and make you see why it never worked out with anyone else

Things always seem more difficult in our minds then they actually are. Luckily we can always change our mind

Be strong enough to let go and wise enough to wait for what you deserve

Life is to ironic to fully understand. It takes sadness to know what happiness is. Noise to appreciate silence and heartache to appreciate true love

God will wreak your plans when He sees that your plans are about to wreak you

Sometimes our lives have to be completely shaken up, changed, and rearranged to relocate us to the place we are meant to be

Don't be afraid to give up on the good and go for the great

It's important to make someone happy, and it's important to start with yourself

Wednesday, July 16, 2014

My personal best.......

Life is crazy sometimes. My best made plans often never materialize or if they do they are often very different then what I imagined in my head. This isn't always a bad thing.....I'm learning to go with the flow. God is giving me great peace and immense joy even in the worst of situations. Knowing that my best made plans are comical to God makes me smile. See all the ways I work things out in my head, well God can see and predict so much more than I can. He sees a future that I can't even dream of. He places people in my life that will help me get where He wants me to be.....not where I WANT to be BUT where He WANTS me. This is sometimes hard to remember as I'm fretting and worrying about my future. It's in these moments of panic where His voice gently calms me......His hands carefully hold me and where His smile lets me know that every little thing is going to be alright. I'm surrounding myself with friends, both new and old, family and the love I feel is indescribable. I know life is hard sometimes but I remind myself that my track record for getting through bad days/times is currently sitting at 100% and that's pretty good if you ask me.

Monday, April 21, 2014

Say yes to the splash zone


Today we moseyed on down to the Indy Zoo....marvelous. The weather was PERFECT. The animals were playing to us, their audience. And Maddux spotted out several animals pooping......the joys of having boys I suppose.

We went wanting to for sure see the dolphin show. I absolutely love this part of the zoo. Dolphins are pretty awesome by themselves but seeing one do tricks?! I'm there every. time. Maddux went into this show adamant about sitting in the "splash zone". Wrig was equally adamant about NOT sitting in the "splash zone". We ended up with a compromise.......on the top row of the "splash zone". Now friends I've been to the zoo many times and I ALWAYS sit in the splash zone and I've never walked away soaked.

For nearly 20 minutes before I was reassuring Wrigley Grace that she indeed would most likely stay "dry". I lied! Apparently the dolphin, Kimeo, is a really good "jumper" and splashed the crap out of all three of us. Maddux looked like he jumped in the shower with his clothes on. Wrig was not amused and now maintains all dolphins are stupid and refuses to ever see a dolphin show again. She's a little drama queen by the way!

Four separate times, as we waited for the show to start, a kid would be yanking his mother's hand to sit in the splash zone and they (the mothers) were like "are you crazy.....no way". Now I do a lot of things wrong, every mom does but I feel so blessed to be a mother to these three sweet babes! I always want to be the mom who says YES to the "splash zone". I want to be fun, loving, tender, kind, sweet. I want to laugh til it hurts and be there when they need me most. Life is full of "splash zones" and sometimes you get wet. Although we were all soaked we (Maddux and I) laughed so hard. Wrigley complained til her clothes dried.......and said, "I guess the splash zone isn't so bad......especially since you (Maddux and I) got really wet too."

So yes we got soaked. And yes we laughed our heads off. And yes we enjoyed the animals but more importantly each other!


I tried to get a sad face from Maddux here signifying the horrible work of Kimeo BUT he couldn't even do it, he was to jazzed up about the dolphin show. Wrig was very angry at this point.

Friday, April 18, 2014

My heart is my compass





Who could disagree with Audrey Hepburn?  There's always going to be a tomorrow so I remember this when I lay my head down after a defeating day.  Pink looks sexy on everyone....including some guys.  Laughing is the best  medicine.  And staying strong when I'm not feeling like it is when I'm the most beautiful, I think!

Let your heart be your compass and PLEASE don't ever give up when it's dark.  There's always tomorrow, right!







Wednesday, April 16, 2014

A change of heart never hurt anyone



I'm kind, generous, hilarious, beautiful, peaceful, lovable among about a million other things.
I lived the majority of my life thinking I had to please others. Thinking I had to be something I wasn't. Thinking I was doing this whole "life" thing wrong. I prayed for Jesus to change me. I prayed for Him to make me the person I thought I "should" be. As He giggled at my requests He did something I didn't expect. NOTHING. He holds the world in the palm of His hands and He did nothing. Instead of changing my outside to please "others" which would have answered my prayer. No instead of changing anything physical He changed my heart. He changed not one thing about me BUT the way I look at myself. I've always laughed off compliments, mainly because I didn't believe them. Now after a compliment I send a nod up Heaven's way and thank God for not changing me and believing my true value lies within my soul. Jesus, you get me....you get me good!

Thursday, April 10, 2014

Still


My house is my sanctuary. A place I can run around in my pajamas with my hair all crazy. A place I prepare food for my family. A place I cuddle up with my kids and watch movies. A place Brady and I designed and built. I take immense pride in my home and my decorations reflect that very clearly.

This last sign is my favorite. "The Lord will fight for you; you need only to be still. Exodus 14:14 Those words resonate with me on so many levels. While reading the rest of Exodus 14 you realize that the Israelites are scared and questioning Moses who is marching them into the desert. Although the Israelites wanted to be free of Egyptian rule they were scared of the unknown. They felt they were leaving Egypt only to head out to the desert to die. They told Moses to leave them alone fully ready to serve the Egyptians instead of dying in the desert. Moses comes back with "Be strong" and "don't fear."
Deserts come in many forms. Although I've never marched through an actual desert I have spent years in one of my own making. In the desert it's hard to hear God.....hard to think of anything other then self preservation. I fought, got angry and grew bitter. My time in the desert was all my own and no two people will walk through the same desert. This past January I decided enough was enough and took a very drastic step (with the love and support of my family) and decided to find a way back to normal. I was tired of walking alone through life. I need GOD, I need Him so much! When I was to my lowest point and quit fighting, then and only then was I able to feel God and instead of trying to fight I just let God lead. This might seem cliche but when I was still God fought for me. He picked me up and carried me far from that desert I'd been in for way to long. He comforted me when I was alone and He changed me from the inside out. My heart is no longer the same, my pain is there but not a driving force behind my actions. I act out of love and am still many times through the day just so I can hear God and then I give it to Him and He fights on my behalf. I don't have to fight alone anymore.....never again!